I grew weary of doing good and pretty much stopped doing anything well. I became apathetic. I keep wanting to say I became self-focused, but the truth of the matter is that I didn't become self-focused, I just stopped focusing on anything. I had quit but did just enough "stuff" to look like I didn't.
As I have reflected on this over the past year I realized that God allowed me to fall inot my slump. He needed to because I had finally come to the end of "my" strength. He has been waiting a long time for me to get here. Unfortunately, I have struggled with the sin of self-sufficiency for sometime. It was hard to recognize because I was accomplishing things andI kept getting "pats on the back" from those around me. But my mistake came because I kept thinking I was on the right track. I looked "Godly" enough. No one was particularly worried about me but my heart knew. I couldn't put my finger on it at first but the Lord was working on me.
As I tried to figure out what was wrong the Lord gently spoke to me over and over again.
Here is a summation of how He has spoken to me through this journey.
1) Look at how Jesus did it.
2) He needed my instruction and so do you.
3) He needed my Holy Spirit and so do you.
4) His strength came from me.
5) When you do it My way, "The Joy of the Lord" becomes your strength.
6) So, let's start over.
So, my "Word" for this year is "CLAY".
The Lord has very gently put me back on the potter's wheel and pounded me down into a lump of clay. He has already started working on me and I have had hints of joy again.
It looks to be an exciting year.
I am the clay
You are the Potter
I am your child
You are my Father
Completely, Consume me Lord.
Happy New Year from the Martins!